Tonight I am starting something entirely new.
It's taken me such a long while to reach this place A place of certain serenity It's unique to me I'm satisfied yet bitter I feel I am inside of an entirely new playing ground Like the opportunity that lies ahead is so fully integrated already Now I only have to show up I have never not shown up But today I stayed so busy that when it was time for me to be alone I wanted to listen to songs on repeat and scream at the top of my lungs I'm not even in pain nothing has even happened to me There have been no triggers I just get in this mood where I want to be with everyone Yet sit alone and let my fingers click the keys that my brain decides to click Frustrated and so at ease with the fact that I am allowed to feel this way and not be ashamed of it I AM human, I AM not defined by my feelings or emotions Some days are dark and dreary and I want nothing to do with society Yet never stop being a part of it It's fucking irritating that physically escaping, is seemingly impossible Listening to sad music during these moods gives me Solidarity, of my mood It makes me feel alone How I occasionally want to feel, weird right? In a place where everyone is searching for someone I just want to be left alone To wallow in my pity and love every second of it What are we actually doing? Aside from creating this facade of a reality and calling it home This is not home You and I both know that the black hole that consumes me in my dreams at night That's home The darkness The womb The void The unspeakable Where you can see darkness but cannot actually see anything without a beam of light Fucking Christ Go away now, I want to be entirely Alone
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I keep Loving because it is all that I know
that will last, eternally Beyond me and you I keep Loving because it destroys me and builds me simutaneously We were being destroyed uphill, rebuilt past the peak The forest below the mountain is where I reside Living in the breeze and melting in the streams You came to visit me, noticing I was accompanied by a stranger I saw you, but you didn't know Pivoting around to head back into the night Turning into a potent shadow Dissipating into the darkness When the Z's roared from the nostrils of most, I wandered to the waters Never knowing what I may discover Alone sat a man, drenched in transparently wet cheeks His heart pouring into the stream, carried away his pain "It hurts, doesn't it" I whispered eloquently We sat for moments Silence More silence Staring at his back, barely missing the reflection of his face in the water It never ended We stayed until the sun rose I woke, knowing everything I had just experienced Was but a dream How big is the biggest mountain you have climbed,
you overcame, that let you relinquish your fears, let go of your pain, and open your heart to all that is Mine just so happens to be, myself I've climbed my own mountain, descended into my deepest trenches and spilled my sacred guts all over the ground you walk on Turn it into Love
He said, Share with them "how do you do that?" Not how, But why? To shake them as they Ingest your vibration --learning to express this pain Truth behind
vacant stares lies in Depths of pain and suffering -toobesilent The call of silence has beckoned for your
thoughts Surrender to the idea Release the trauma Remove what does not suit A King and Queen rise to their Occasion, occasionally hand in hand Tomorrow cries for you What it holds is need to know But you don't need any of it Go to the silence, you'll find me there Whispering to you, the Love You have been asking for The moon is pulling in the tides
From the reflection of my iris You see them rushing in, down my cheek You brush your lips against mine so we can both, Taste the salt that stung our wounds That we continuously succumb to Drying out our skin So we can moisturize with each other |
Kelsie Miner
@toobesilent on Twitter |